Scene #006

Characters: Myself, MCU

*Action*

MCU: Did you ever think that those classic Disney movies were racist or sexist?

Me: No, not really. I hadn't thought about it.

MCU: A co-worker of mine and I started talking about it today. Does it bother you that the hero is always some dashing, charming white guy?

Me: No. I mean, he's just a character in a story; a place holder.

MCU: A lot of communities have tried to sue Disney for what they believe is misrepresentation of their race or culture. Like the Arab community for Aladdin, or the Chinese for Mulan.

Me: Yeah, I also remember hearing some of the families whom Remember the Titans is based on tried to sue Disney.

MCU: Yeah.

Me: I wonder if Lego has ever tried to sue The Simpsons for misrepresentation of Yellow people?

MCU: You're a dork. [laughs]

*End Scene*

Scene #005

Characters: Myself, Spunky Brewster, Blonde Bombshell

*Action*

Spunky: Mr. Method, congratulations!

Me: On?

Spunky: They haven't told you yet?

Blonde Bombshell: Are you a supervisor now?!

Me: I got an interview...

Blonde Bombshell: MM, yay!

Spunky: Yeah, that's awesome!

Me: Thanks...

*End Scene*

Scene #004

Characters: Myself, Blonde Bombshell, Voodoo Daddy

*Action*

Blonde Bombshell: Voodoo, are you coming to my party tonight?

Voodoo Daddy: Blondie, there's a whole generation that's not ready for me to show up at your party.

[Group laughs]

Me: You're having a party Blondie? Where at?

Blonde Bombshell: Up near 143rd and Summervale, I'm house sitting.

Me: Ahhhhhh, I see.

Blonde Bombshell: Yeah, it's a brand new house and the family isn't even totally moved in yet so it's all just boxes; so lots of space.

Me: I think I'm with Voodoo. You kids aren't ready for the likes of Voodoo and I.

Blonde Bombshell: Well text me later if you want to stop by and I'll give you directions.

Me: Coolio.

*End Scene*

Scene #003

Characters: Myself, Betty Book

*Action*

Betty Book: I so want to be a Librarian.

Me: You can do it.

Betty Book: I want to live in a van in Europe, and sell fruit in Amsterdam first before I become a Librarian though.

Me: "fruit"...in Amsterdam...right. "Fruit."

Betty Book: I said "sell" not "buy". Jerk face!

[ both laugh]

*End Scene*

Scene #002

Characters: Myself, MCU (girlfriend)

*Action*

MCU: The pan fried noodles are really good; came out better this time.

Me: Yeah, I used my castiron pan this time. It cooked a lot more evenly.

MCU: That castiron pan has become the answer to all your problems lately.

Me: Ha, as long as my problems are uneven cooking, then yeah.

MCU: I dunno...maybe it's more than meets the eye?! [slight sarcasm]

Me: Riiiiight. It's not going to help me with that damn neighbor dog that keeps pooping in my yard.

MCU: [looks up from plate at me, raises eyebrow, continues to chew]

Me: [looks at MCU, then away to ponder] I take that back. It is pretty heavy.

*End Scene*

Scene #001

Characters: Myself, Patty Princess

*Action*

Me: You know it's cold there, right?

Patty Princess: The better for me to wear my boots, coat, and scarf.

Me: You didn't buy in to the whole designer galoshes trend did you?

Patty Princess: You mean the Gucci ones?

Me: Lots of designers did it.

Patty Princess: Mine are Gucci.

Me: Ugh gawd, you did.

Patty Princess: I'm totally Gucci'd out, and they're totally cute!

Me: Yeah, I always said those guys on The Deadliest Catch were ahead of the fashion curve when it came to footwear.

Patty Princess: [laughs]

*End Scene*